How to make IT (aka, your penis) bigger

How to make IT (aka, your penis) bigger: "That little pink thing

Penis, dick, shlong, ding-dong, prick, one-eyed-warrior, etc. The list goes on! And on! After strenuous research, it was discovered that about half the people on this planet we live on, has one. (those poor buggers living next to nuclear power plants weren't counted because they can have several!)

One can even go as far as to say that the penis is the very essence of life as we know it! Lets face it, life wouldn't be life without it, it wouldn't be at all! But it isn't just about giving life...

In the world that is today, sex has become a more open subject. Back in the 50's there weren't magazines explaining what sexual positions is the most fun or pleasurable for the couple, especially not in magazines ANYONE can buy!

So it was basically bound to happen that at one time or another, guys are going to start worrying about the size of their beloved penis, their essence if you will! And for some or other reason, there was an unwritten rule written in the big book of unwritten stuff that the bigger your penis, the bigger your partners satisfaction, the more you are a MAN! And in the world that is today, its important to be a MAN in this MANS world!"

Last nights dream

Its not nice waking up in the morning lying in a pool of your own sweat, your muscles numb and sore due to the struggling you made during the grueling nights supposed rest. Yup, the typical signs that you were stuck in an awful nightmare, which at the time, seemed more real than life itself...

I was visiting my parents for a few days (this was in the horror that was my dream now) and it got time for me to head back home so I can just right in the rat race again in a day or two. I stopped at the gas station to fill up, and stock up on various snacks and drinks.

When I left the shop, I actually saw one of my ex-girlfriends (the one I was really crazy about when we were still seeing each other), and she looked amazing, even more beautiful and sexy than when we last saw each other, about 5 years ago.

We hugged and exchanged small talk for hours, it was great! Up to about this stage, the dream was actually not yet classified as a nightmare, but more the type of dream you constantly wish would come true...

Anyway, one thing led to another, and we started kissing. It was very soft and gentle at first, but after a while, it started heating up. Our hands were all over each other, and not long after that she was reaching down my pants, our lips still locked in a kiss.

Suddenly I felt that she was shaking, first I thought she was really caught up in the moment, but then, to my absolute horror and disgust, I realized that she was laughing hysterically! Hmmf, just the right thing at the right moment - exactly when she reached down there! That was where the needled shifted over from pure bliss to pure terror!

SHE WAS LAUGHING AT MY SMALL PENIS!!!!!

I woke up, with no energy whatsoever. It was worse than being kicked in the balls by an entire soccer team for 7 straight hours...

My story (continued...)

Yeah, me again... The short dicked man, blah!

Anyway, today has been pretty much the same... I decided to go to the gym for a change, try to get into shape for some or other marathon somewhere not very much important at this stage.

I went quite early to miss the rush, but there was still plenty of people at the gym. I jogged on the treadmill for about an hour, did some cycling and the usual (skipped the weight training today, cause I focussed on the cardio...)

This, of course, caused me to build up a sweat, I was literally dripping! So I decided to take a shower in the locker room as all gym member not on the basic subscription is allowed to. Everything was fine, until I entered the locker room and saw that about 7 other guys was also taking a shower. And they ALL are bigger than me (their penises I mean). Everybody is going to laugh in my face when they see the embarrassment that is my small penis.

If only I could find a way to FIX THIS DAMN PROBLEM!!!

My Story

After going to the supermarket one fine day, I couldn't help but notice this amazingly beautiful girl reaching for something just out of reach! Being a nice tall fellow, I offered my help, and she gladly accepted.

After chatting for a while, we exchanged phone numbers, and agreed to go out for coffee or dinner...

Wow, I thought! This girl is actually interested in me, plus she's stunningly beautiful! What are the chances! (not very high I'll tell you!)

As the hours went by, I couldn't help but think back to when my ex-girlfriend (that bitch) actually laughed at me being not so well hung as her previous boyfriends (apparently there have been A LOT!) Now I know this shouldn't bother me, but damn it, I'm a guy and I can't help it!

Am I not able to please a woman satisfactory? Is the fact that my penis is too small, the reason why I'm still single at 32? Does size actually matter? If thats the case, then I'm basically screwed...

Funny penis slogans

The Taco Bell Penis
Yo quiero penis.

The 7-Up Penis
The UN-penis.

The AT&t Penis
Reach out and touch someone.

The Alka-Seltzer Penis
Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a relief it is...

The All State Penis
You're in good hands.

The American Express Penis
Don't leave home without it.

The Army Penis
Be all that you can be.

The Bacardi Penis
Taste the feeling.

The Beef Penis
It's what's for dinner.

The Bic Lighter Penis
Go ahead and flick my penis

The Big Red Penis
It's longer with big red.

The Borden Penis
It's GOT to be good.

The Borg Penis
Resistance is futile.

The Bounce Penis
With Static-Guard!

The Bounty Penis
The quicker picker-upper.

The Miller Lite Penis
Great taste, less filling.

The Budweiser Penis
This bud's for you

The Burger King Penis
Have it your way

The Campbells Soup Penis
Mmmm mmm good

The Captain Planet Penis
Go PENIS!!

The Charmin Double Roll Penis
It lasts longer because it IS longer.

The Charmin Penis
Don't squeeze the penis!

The Chevy Truck Penis
Like a rock!

The Chips Ahoy Penis
Betcha bite a chip.

The Visa Penis
It's everywhere you want to be.

The Crest Penis
Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.

The Dairy Queen Penis II
We treat you right!

The Dairy Queen Penis
Hot eats, cool treats

The Diet Coke Penis
Just for the taste of it...

The Domino's Pizza Penis
Delivers in 30 min or less

The Doublemint Penis
Chewing really satisfies.

The Dr. Pepper Penis
Wouldn't you like to be a penis too?

The Edge Shaving Cream Penis
Ultimate closeness, ultimate comfort.

The Eggo Penis
Leggo my penis

The Energizer Penis
It keeps going and going

The Equal Penis
Tastes like Sugar.

The Excedrin Penis
It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.

The Extra Penis
Lasts an extra extra extra long time

The Flintstone's Vitamins Penis
10 million strong and growing

The Folger's Crystals Penis
It's freeze dried to seal in the freshness.

The best part of wakin up is a penis in your cup.

The Ford Penis
Built Ford tough

The Frosted Flakes Penis
They're GGGR RRRRR EEEEAA AAATTT!

The Generic Penis
One size fits all.

The Gilette Penis
The best a man can get.

The Heinz Penis
Good things come to those who wait.

The Highlander Penis
There can be only one.

The Janet Jackson Penis
What have you done for ME lately?

The Jell-o Penis
Watch it wiggle, see it jiggle.

The Juicyfruit Penis
The taste is gonna move ya.

The Kenny Rogers Penis
You've got to know when to hold 'em.

The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis
Everybody needs a little.

The Kix Penis
Kid tested, mother approved.

The Lava Lamp Penis
Hee hee hee!!!!!

The Lays Penis
Betcha can't eat just one.

The Life Call Penis
It's fallen and it can't get up.

The Life Penis
Mikey likes it.

The Life Savers Penis
Five fruity flavors.

The Little Caesar's Penis
Penis!! Penis!!

The Little Caesar's Penis
Pleaser!! Pleaser!!

The Lucky Charms Penis
They're magically delicious

The McDonald's Penis II
Have you had your break today?

The McDonald's Penis
Over 8 billion served.

The Macintosh Penis
Power is everything.

The M&M Penis
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand

The Magnavox Penis
Smart. Very Smart.

The Mazda Penis
It just feels right.

The Maxwell House Penis
Good to the last drop

The Micro Machines Penis
A whole world, in the palm of your hand.

The Milk Penis II
Got penis?

How E-mail is Like a Penis

Some folks have it, some don't. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's an nifty toy, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don't have it would like to try it.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it for fun most of the time.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp you behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I do that?"

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.

What does it mean to have a smaller than average penis?

For many guys out there it means never taking a shower at the gym, being afraid to let your girlfriend see you naked, and an overall lack of self-confidence. Well, having a small penis and doing something about it has been discussed in the medical and scientific community for quite some time now.

Some women out there says that size does not matter, but the keyword in in that sentence is "SOME". Believe it or not, there are women out there who prefer a larger than average penis! Yes, it's not a mystery, some women like em huge!

But if you feel that your thing is not up to standard, and that you're the only man who feels that he has that problem, don't, cause almost half of men out there feels exactly the same way...